(all names have been changed for privacy)

I (25F) moved in with my close friend Sarah (24f) and her boyfriend Dan(27M) we worked for separate contractors and the same warehouse but we all had the same job and made good money for our age.

I fought really hard for the place that we wanted and had to step up and be the adult when it came time for rental applications and finding a place.

They were not much help but I found a place that we all liked and moved in.

I also had to pay for her part of the deposit when we moved in because she didnt have the money together yet but I was excited about the place and didn’t want to miss out on getting it.

Edit: (we had been preparing to move for a couple months, she eventually did pay me back after almost 2 and a half months and took a small vacation before doing so)

Everything the first couple months went great and we were all getting along very well, we had game nights and had fun cooking for/with eachother.

During the 4th month I was being woken up every morning to the sound of my female roommate throwing up very loudly, after a few days of this I finally mentioned that she should take a pregnancy test and her boyfriend agreed.

I knew they were excited about being parents some day but before we moved in together i made it very clear I did not want to live with a baby and they both agreed they didn’t want them yet.

She went to the bathroom and took a test, when she came out she held up the test, I had misread it and thought it was negative and visibly was happy and relieved, When she pointed at the test and I looked closer I realized it was positive, I went completely silent and went to my room and closed the door, my Boyfriend was in my room and had heard the whole conversation and he was also at a loss for words.

I was incredibly worried because although she was my friend, she is a very irresponsible person. which only got worse after she found out she was expecting.

I knew she would want to keep it and i was  supportive the best i could be because she is my friend and I knew her boyfriend was amazing and always knew he loved her very much and treated her well.

He is a extremely nice and fun guy who me and my boyfriend had become good friends with.

In the past her ex fiance had made her get an abortion because they were very young and they wouldn’t be able to handle a child yet and a year after that she had had a miscarriage I think probably due to her ED which she had gotten better with since me and her current boyfriend had entered her life and she was always very excited to tell us when she had gained a few pounds every now and then and we would make sure to let her know we were proud of her.

she had told me awhile before that she was on the same birth control as me, which is an implant that goes in your arm and is one of the most effective birth controls that you can have.

My doctor had explained to me a long time ago about the importance of getting it removed if I ever got pregnant and was planning on keeping the baby, not to mention to go the doctor and make sure the pregnancy was not ectopic which can be very dangerous.

She went to the doctor the next day and found out that she was 12 weeks along which came as a shock to me and Dan that she was already 3 months pregnant and that she hadn’t noticed consideringshe had been pregnant before but I knew it was not unheard of.

when she came back I was disappointed that she hadn’t gotten any sonogram photos (although this pregnancy was a huge inconvenience i was still a friend and was excited for her)

Then she had become a very big burden.

She didn’t clean up after herself, she was still using her vape, smoking devils lettuce while pregnant and would still drink an aggressive amount of caffeine was no longer taking care of her cat. (She completely stopped cleaning his box and cleaning up after him, not to mention would go days without feeding him or giving him water.)

The next day while I’m at work, she sends me a very long message about how her and dan are moving half way across the country to be with her family and that they would be moving in a month.

I was absolutely infuriated by the message and how she seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal to leave me with all the bills and rent that I would barely be able to afford on my own, also her boyfriend and I were the only ones on the lease and he was still responsible for rent.

When I got home I explained very calmly how our lease works and then left the room to avoid yelling at them.

Dan told me later he agreed that moving right now wasn’t fair and that it wouldn’t work and he agreed with me that they would stay.

As a concerned friend I asked if they removed her birth control and she side stepped the question by saying that the nurse there didn’t think it was a big deal and the obgyn she went too did not have the equipment to remove it at that time.

I have just recently gotten mine replaced and knew that all they did was use a scalpel to remove it, it was a small cut that didn’t even need stitches when I got it, so I was a little confused but brushed it away and let her know that she needed to get it removed and that I would even pay for it she couldn’t afford it and knew that she didn’t have insurance.

This began as a heated topic that she would constantly avoid.

I asked if I could see her arm, because I have the same one and it is very noticeable and easy to feel it and even see it sometimes, I felt around her arm and couldn’t find it or even the small dot scar that I have from when I got mine.

I started to get suspicious but didn’t want to think she would lie about something like this.

When I got mine they always make sure to tell you that if any point you can’t feel where your implant is or can’t find it, that you should go to the ER immediately.

In case it went somewhere in your body that it wasn’t supposed too.

Being a paranoid person i got increasingly concerned about it that it could end up injuring her or even un alive her if it moved somewhere dangerous (which is unlikely but has happened before with these kind of implants)

She didn’t seem concerned about it and went back to her room.

It started out as me being a legitimately worried friend and what that could do the her health or the babies health. But I admit I was already getting suspicious.

Sarah finally admitted that her implant had hit its 5 year expiration date in February which is around the time when she got pregnant and it is recommended to get it replaced every 3 years but lasts up to 5, Her boyfriend seemed annoyed that she hadn’t told him that it was expired, Dan and me were alone in the kitchen and he asked about the birth control and how it worked since I also had it, I explained it all to him about the side effects if she can’t find it, also while telling him how dangerous it could be, i was hoping he would help push her to get it removed as soon as possible. He agreed with me very much and also showed concern because he had felt her arm and couldn’t find it either.

20 minutes had gone by and we heard her bedroom door open, she came down stairs and asked him what was taking so long and she seemed frustrated that we were talking alone and quietly. He went back up to their room with her and I left it alone and went to my room.

I then did something im not totally proud of, when I got up to use the bathroom I could hear them talking in their room, I wouldn’t have cared but I could hear they were talking about me. So I got closer and started listening to what they were saying.

I was know to have a beer or 2 when I came home from work, I could hear her blaming the things that I had said on my drinking which upset me a lot.

She continued saying things that didn’t males sense trying to discredit me any way she could.

Especially since i was only telling dan how the birth control worked because he had asked.

I didn’t see what the big deal was..

She had quit drinking a couple months ago because she realized she was doing it too often and then I realized when she quit would also have been around the time that she got pregnant.

So I started to wonder if she had known about her pregnancy longer than she said.

Too many things were adding up and it started to make my suspicious thought get even worse.

She finally went to the urgent care I recommended to get her implant removed, she was getting tests done, they discovered that she had a kidney infection and she would be staying at the hospital for a few days.

When she was cleared and came back from the hospital, I asked if they had removed her birth control yet and she said they didn’t get to it because they were focused on her kidney infection.

She started making any excuse to stay at her friends house and would take dan with her, I started to consider that she didn’t want him anywhere around me and my boyfriend because we both shared similar suspicions and she didn’t want us talking to him.

Side note, at any point during the situation we had not told him anything other than how the birth control worked.

I wouldn’t see them for days at a time and if I did it would only be for a brief second. She had completely stopped working and dan was drowning to pay his and her part of rent and bills at this point, she claimed she got suspended at work but I have a strong feeling that she just quit and didn’t want to work because she wouldn’t get a new job.

Bills have started piling up, whenever they did pay me it was usually late and I started working more and even found a side job just in case.

Tensions had dies down and we were all getting along agian for the most part, me and her were just talking about pregnancy stuff and about how she was feeling.

We got on the topic of her previous pregnancies.

She told me that her abortion was 4 years ago and her miscarriage was 3 years ago.

We talked a little more and then I went back to my room.

My paranoid brain started going in circles because if she has had the implant for 5 years, that means that she had it during her other 2 pregnancies, would it even be possible to get pregnant 3 times while on it?

I called my cousin the next day who works for an OBGYN and explained what was going on. She said that that would be next to impossible on that method of birth control.

I finally had to come to terms with the fact that one of my best friends lied about being on birth control to Dan and me.

About a week later Dan needed a ride home from work because Sarah was using his car to go to her friends house, we work at the same building and I drove him home.

He had been constantly stressed out so I offered him a beer and made dinner for both of us.

We were talking about the pregnancy and he had shared that he was worried he was getting baby trapped. I asked how honest he wanted me to be about my opinion and he told me to not hold back. I explained every big and tiny thing that wasn’t adding up.

I then told him yes I think he was baby trapped. He is a great guy and I know no matter what he would be a dad to that kid, but I don’t think he should trust her.

They have only been together for less than a year, He started talking about their anniversary that was on November 27th.

I froze in my seat and asked carefully if that was the Anniversary of their first date. He said no that was when they made things official but they had been seeing eachother since late October.

I got very nervous and told him that at a Thanksgiving party she had slept with one of our mutual friends and that It sounds like she border line cheated on him.

Sarah and him have been sleeping at her friends house almost permanently and plan to start driving across the country tommorrow.

They told me they would still help me pay rent after they move since they will be living with her mom for free. But I’m not gonna hold my breath since they still owe me money.

UPDATE: they moved across the country a few days ago and have left a lot of their stuff behind including furniture, books (her book collection was always something she was proud of) both of his guitars and expensive long boards and didn’t bother cleaning up their room when they left.

I haven’t heard from them since really but a female friend at work I ran into yesterday saying that Sarah had swung by the building before they moved to say goodbye to a few friends and that she was showing off her baby bump. She had also told all of our friends that she wasn’t working because dan wanted her to be a stay at home mom.

Which I knew was a lie because he had been drawing in bills and begged her to get a job.

I made sure to straighten the story out for the people at work about how she told him she was on birth control when she wasn’t. Also about how she had financially screwed me over in the process by abandoning me with all the bills and rent.

Her current lie that she is running with is that during her miscarriage a few years ago that the doctor had removed her arm implant with out telling her.

But I know that is almost impossible, when they removed and replaced mine, my arm was sore and bruised/bandaged up for almost a week so It seems unlikely that she wouldn’t have noticed and even more unlikely that the doctor would do that without telling her.

2nd update/clarification on some questions:

• Me and Dan were good friends and I would always feel guilty if I had not told him the truth especially because he asked for the truth
• me and her were very close friends -i only every shared my opinion with them when asked and shared my concerns when I was worried about her health
• the 3 of us living together was to help them escape individual bad living situations.
• yes i know cleaning cat boxes when pregnant is not good but cleaning them daily and washing your hands after is safe according to OBGYNs